Suffering

I tot today i could be better...
who knows still the same.....
What the fuck is that~
today even worst, my mind keep thinking of my babe..
when can i have a date wit him??
i think next week i'll try to make myself available for him....
it is so suffer being alone...
be tgt d still feeling like alone....
y cant just u guys thk another way round??
y cant just give another chance for me to turn over a new leaf??
juz bcoz of one mistake that i have done, u all start to control this and that....
so what for living in this type of life.....
i swear next time i wont repeat the mistake again....
cant u guys just put the trust on me....
i hope to have a stable relationship...
cant u guys just put the trust on my partner??
no trust how to get a good relationship???
i dun care so much...
it takes times to proof to u all that we aren't that type of couple....
whether u guys believe it or not....
we are damn freaking suffer over here...
who knows our feelings???
wanted to close me at home...
well, what can i do??
i cant do anything....
u guys are correct in every ways
well,
i couldn't say much on that....
i dunoe how la.....
the most i also tahan foro this one whole week....
cant go out,
cant meet my babe...
well,
i wish to be crazy one day~
He is a good man to me.....
ya, if i say this way,
u guys will surely say i'm too innocent upon that....
depends on how u guys treat me la.....
i sure we can proof it to you all....
in future,
i live for my own...
not for u all....
No matter how hard it is in the future,
there's always a way for us to solve it.....
i hate to be alone.....
arrggghhhh~
I nid u babe.....i really nid you~
Sitting at home = sitting in jail
at least i have some freedom....
if everything dun wan me to learn by my ownself....
everything have to think properly first b4 commit any things...
then what for people always say that learn from mistake..
but then u guys doesn't give me that opportunity to learn from mistake...
so how can i learn new things....
maybe i always didn't fight bek with u all,
so whatever u guys said u guys do feel that u guys are correct....
maybe i'm too afraid of saying u guys back.....
i'm too timid....
u guys just know how to care for urself...
being part of ur family.....
the existence of me and well-behave of me is just like caring u guys' face....
it is very clearly that u guys are more towards self defence so that u guys can have a good image for others.....or i can say that u guys are just care for urself.......
by now, i really dunoe what should i do....
being a human is so suffer and meaningless.....
I'm trying to overcome my weaknesses....
just because of that mistake everything started to change.....
i dun wanna talk that much now......
talk much doesn't bring benefits to me...
they will consider i'm fighting with them.....
the more i say, the more i get wrong......
babe,
i hope that u are ok now....
i dun wan to see u to be like that....
all i wanted is i want both of us to be tgt happily......
no matter wat, just try out best to solve watever  problem tgt....
think on the brighter side k??
we still have a long way to go....
be patience....
I love you seriously~

Bye

~Celine~